Can't stand sitting down !

Okay. I meet this person (whom I am supposed to know) for the first time since I believe I was born. Ms.X greets me with the wi(l)dest of smiles and a quote which haunts me still "Oh..look at my baby !". Baby??? whose baby?

" You've changed a lot since the last time we met. You were so cute then".
Cute?? Lady...I wasn't cute any day. I wish I could say. The forced manners in me held me back. However, I couldn't resist asking politely, " I know..its been quite long..when did you last see me?"
"Oh..you were a 2 year old then...probably still in your diapers!" .
"Oh..then I am glad I don't look the same" ..at this point I could not hold it back..much to the embarrassment of people around me who knew me better . Finding herself at a point of no return Ms.X shot for the escape strategy. "Stupid fellow..when will you grow up?"

When will I grow up?

I have been asked this question quite a few times now. Mostly by people who wanted to brush me down , and sometimes by people who believed that I got stuck at some point as I was growing up. Both dint want an answer.

But I feel , after the most recent set of assualts by certain friends on my state of "growing up" I need to put forth my case: "I have grown up"...oh yeah..write it down world.."I have grown up"

and the reasons to support my case are,

1. The stupid Aunt 'X' feels I look different from what I was at 2 ! Its no miracle old lady...its because I grew up!

2. My dad feels I grew up too..well sometimes. At least he no longer drags me to the butcher - make it barber, when my hair touches my eyebrow.

3. Neither do I have to deal with tedious, well-meaning and often boring lectures about disciplined boys from my mother. She says, I am grown up now (..anything to save me from that!).

4. I no longer have a 50 day vacation every year.

5. I know 45 ways to scream SATAN.

6. I have had a 40 once. (and believe me..I did not disintegrate )

7. I know Vickie Lynn Marshall. (ha ha ha...Wikipedia tells me she is Anna Nicole Smith)

8. Older relatives find it okay cracking certain jokes (which were taught to be sins when I was small) with me around...or maybe I understand them now. whichever way..

9. If these were not enough to grow up...I learnt the final lesson for growing up.
" If you bump into some old woman with withdrawal symptoms, who looks at a 25 year old 6 foot tall stranger and says "BABY!!" ...run..don't turn back..just run before she tells the crowd the stories of you in a diaper."